With big, wide naive eyes, clients often ask us, “Will we have to go to mediation?” or “How will mediation be?” That’s understandable. Unless you have been through mediation, you probably have no idea, except for what you may have seen on television and in the movies. Even worse, mediation rarely shows up in Hollywood. One of the few times Hollywood portrays mediation is in the 2003 film “Intolerable Cruelty” with George Clooney and Catherine Zeta Jones. While dramatic and funny, this portrayal is very unrealistic.

First, mediation is just a meeting between the parties, their attorneys and a mediator. Mediation can be held at the office of either attorney or a “neutral” location, like a county office of dispute resolution or the mediator’s office. Second, a mediator “chairs” or runs the meeting, not a judge. Most of the time, the parties are in separate rooms. Putting the parties into the same room is almost always counterproductive, with the mediation spinning out of control sabotaged by snide, unproductive comments. This is exactly why Hollywood likes to portray mediation, like in “Intolerable Cruelty” in one conference room, with dramatic arguments between attorneys and staring contests between angry spouses. In reality, with the parties and their attorneys in separate rooms, in most cases they never even see each other. Needless drama and acrimony are avoided, and the mediator goes back and forth to convey offers of settlement.

Sometimes clients ask, “Do we have to mediate?” The answer is: Many courts mandate it before trial, and in most cases mediation is productive. Several metro-Atlanta counties, like Fulton, DeKalb and Cobb Counties require it. Even others that do not have a blanket requirement, like Gwinnett County, may require it on a judge-by-judge basis. While I do not have any statistical data, I estimate that over 75% of cases that mediate settle. In cases that don’t settle, the parties may “narrow” their disagreements, settling many – if not all – of their issues.

Clients always ask, “How do we prepare for mediation?” To be prepared for mediation, we need to know as much as we can about two things. First, we need to know as much as possible about your case. This includes your assets, debts, and evidence in support of your case as well as your and your spouse’s vulnerabilities. Second, we need to know your goals – what you want to achieve. To effectively mediate, we need to spend time getting to understand your case and what you want. In most cases we prepare for mediation by learning about you and your case from the first day you retain us. However, in some cases it is necessary to meet prior to mediation and specifically prepare for it.

Unless you have been through a mediation, the role of the mediator is also probably unfamiliar to you. In Georgia, mediators are required to undergo many weeks of training. Mediators do not have to be licensed attorneys with experience in family law, but they almost always are. Good mediators have to quickly understand the dynamics of the case, your goals and the law. They have to communicate effectively and come up with creative ways to resolve disputes. While some of the metro counties provide limited reduced cost mediators, in most cases the parties must pay for the mediator (as well as for their attorneys) during mediation. You can expect most mediators to charge an hourly rate of $200 – $300 per hour in the Atlanta metro area.

There is a widely held misconception that agreements made at mediation are not binding. This is incorrect. If you reach an agreement at mediation, you and your spouse will be expected to “sign on the dotted line”.  As I often tell my clients, if you make your deal at mediation, you have made your deal now and forever. There is no grace or cooling off period. Judges will almost always enforce an agreement you reach at mediation.

We are always happy to discuss mediation with you in more detail.

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